Dear Thewidkedalf: Thanks for sharing your experience and thoughts and I wish the best for you. I'm sure that
I understand we don't all share the same brain or experiences, some things are just preferences like you like chocolate and i like vanilla.
But morality I believe is objective, if something is bad for a society say a burqa, it is bad in every society. Or bullfighting from spain, everyone I know hates it, but some spanish and south americans defend it. It doens't make them right, and I don't need to know their experience or be Spanish in other to judge it.
And I feel so confident because I've gone at this in every way imaginable. I had dates with scorts, services at home for free, on the one hand. And cold transactional services too, with a male friend and two girls I never saw again, barely talked, whorehouses, etc.
But unlike many clients, I've dug undearneath the superficial layers they put on for clients, I've asked them about their lives, and pimps. I wasn't just having sex I spend 1.5 years researching and exploring the morality of this. And I couldn't fight the conclusion.
I didn't expect that turn in your message and I am so sorry about your wife. And I have to give it to you I'm just 29 and I respect the experiences and feelings you've had that I haven't even come close to I'm sure. I'm glad you did say what I thought, which is the best sex happens when there's deep emotional connection.
And i sincerely wish I could just say "keep it up" because I do feel your pain and in an ideal world we could all have sex and perfect relationships and never be lonely or sexually frustrated. But here's the thing, with all due respect, I don't think you're entitled to use others to ease your pain. Many bad things happen but to hurt others, even if it heals you in someone doesn't seem the moral choice for me.
You got to experience a true consensual beautiful relationship and that's a gift. The girls we've seen, they live terrible lives, traumatized, young single mothers, addicted. They didn't even get to experience a good relationship. And whether we want to or not, by a being a client, we're literally contributing, I know we didn't make them whores, but we're sealing the deal. We're pushing her one step depper into that hole. For what?
And here's where I have to disagree, I was a 27 years old virgin, with a massive sex drive and addicted to porn (unbeknownst to me at the time though) I know how much it hurts, but it is not a need, like hunger or thirst.
You talk about repression, and I agree that can be terrible. But you don't need to repress it, we have hands and there are great fleshlights. What you lose without escorts isn't the liberation or mental health, don't fool yourself, it is the extra pleasure. Pleasure that I don't think we deserve, not by hurting a bit more these poor women.
In your case if you're really not able to date at the moment, I can totally see it, many of my arguments do not work on you, you'er not wasting potential effort you could use on a true relationship. But again, when you think of them, that goes out the window, and it still works. Plus maybe you can heal faster on your own. But i don't know that. And I actually before arrviing to my decision, I thought of worse cases.
Think a guy in a wheelchair, Stephen Hawking's level. Totally feel for the person in that situation, but they oughtn't get the right to use women, they have a sexual life too, which gets destroyed or damaged by this job It's intrinsically bad for their sexual lives. A person to clean their privates, to help them with even more disgusting stuff they need help with, sure. that person gets money and gets to go home and still have a wonderful life. Sex isn't a job, it isn't supposed to be, it's a huge part of our well being
About porn, I guess it's a generational thing too, I was into online porn since I was 12 years old, I thought it was healthy and really gave too much to it. I even developed, like many young men, porn induced ED, ltierally a women felt worse than my hand.
And about condoms, sure, they can feel worse, my point was you get way more picky on your own when it's a service, and it doens't matter realy as much as the emotional connection. He's not even asking for someone to remove the condom, but they need to swallow it, that's a psychological thing, you literally don't even feel it.
And btw, I never went out of my way to hurt women, I was actually extremely polite, the worst thing I did was being cold. I helped some get appartments, got one resources to get off cocaine, and with another one I helped her understand her trauma, she went from wanting to be my gf to not wanting to see me as a professional cold client. What I meant was we are all preying on desperate women.
And the sugarbabies in america that make a ton of money, I really doubt it, I've seen cases of porn actress, which is basically the same, and they suffer. Many off themselves, do a lot of drugs to put up with the pain. And they regret it hard. 48 hours has a case of a high end escort in the US, white too, who yeah had a lot of easy money, but huge traumas from her past.
It's not optimal for any human being, and unlike soliders, miners or cleaning ladies, we don't need this, you can always fap, and one day when you're ready find a relationship.
I don't want to make the post too long but about that female friend who needed some male escorts, I don't think that's okay either. And I put myself up on advertisements to get women and couples, never went though but got contacted by 2 couples and a single woman (who wasn't so bad looking) and a girl just about my age (but terrible looking) before i deleted my profile. I wasn't on drugs, had a job and money, no trauma. But I was so confused, it wasn't healthy or optimal,.
She's no different than my Stephen Hawking example I gave earlier. And this appleis to me too, I'm single now, maybe forever. It's in a way more painful if you're healthy, fit and young and you see your own body not get touched by anyone. But this is I clearley the only moral path. Sex just isn't owed to us.
And porn it is terrible and usually explotatitive (check out the girlsdoporn youtube videos)
You're right that I shouldn't have barged in here and write what I did. I don't use the site except for my own post in Spanish I literally did what you asked, I just didn't think too much about it, it was in English I had just replied to some people in my own post and I was a bit hyped up.
I do love your reply though, but I think you're talking more about my style, which is a bit aggressive nad confrontional, but the content, I thought very deeply about this. From every angle, I'm aware of many biases which is why I try to be as rational as possible.
just guessing I'd say probably you and many here wouldn't agree morality is objective, all religiosu people do, but few atheists like me. And I think society needs to agree on that fact if we wanna continue to progress or relativism and multiculturalism will hurt us badly
